


Watch

by Amusedowl



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Angst, F/M, Prompt Fic, Song Lyrics, Watch- Billie Eilish, Writing Prompt, angsty, car crash, prompt, song prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-31
Updated: 2019-05-31
Packaged: 2020-03-31 00:40:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19038847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amusedowl/pseuds/Amusedowl
Summary: Asked by @azrielismycinnamonrollprimary on Tumblr to write a fic based on the song 'Watch' by Billie Eilish for my song prompts!Give it a listen, and see if you can spot any lyrics I included! :)Made a long backstory but eh





	Watch

**Author's Note:**

> Lyrics to song
> 
> Lips meet teeth and tongue  
> My heart skips eight beats at once  
> If we were meant to be, we would have been by now  
> See what you wanna see, but all I see is him right now  
> I'll sit and watch your car burn  
> With the fire that you started in me  
> But you never came back to ask it out  
> Go ahead and watch my heart burn  
> With the fire that you started in me  
> But I'll never let you back to put it out  
> Your love feels so fake  
> And my demands aren't high to make  
> If I could get to sleep, I would have slept by now  
> Your lies will never keep, I think you need to blow 'em out  
> I'll sit and watch your car burn  
> With the fire that you started in me  
> But you never came back to ask it out  
> Go ahead and watch my heart burn  
> With the fire that you started in me  
> But I'll never let you back to put it out  
> When you call my name  
> Do you think I'll come runnin'?  
> You never did the same  
> So good at givin' me nothin'  
> When you close your eyes, do you picture me?  
> When you fantasize, am I your fantasy?  
> Now you know  
> Now I'm free  
> I'll sit and watch your car burn  
> With the fire that you started in me  
> But you never came back to ask it out  
> Watch my heart burn  
> With the fire that you started in me  
> But I'll never let you back to put it out  
> Never let you back  
> Let you back, let you back  
> Never gonna let you back  
> Let you back

-Feyre-

The summer breeze flowed past me as I walked out of the coffee shop and towards my car. I was surprised Tamlin let me work still, especially in a place that made me so visible, or even have a car. Perhaps to give me a sense of normalcy and make me look like less of a threat. But still, he had been getting more and more stressed as time slipped by. I’d been “going out” with Tamlin for a month, and I had never felt so trapped in my life, but I suppose it’s my fault to start with. 

 

**********

A day that ended much like the one I had just had. Wiping tables, cleaning the mugs, waiting for the last people to leave the shop. Bone-weary after a long day, I was the last one in the shop and locked up. Grabbing my coat and gorgeous blue scarf that Rhys had bought me for Christmas, I headed for the back door into the alley. My first foot was placed on the rickety steps when I heard the voices. The alley was dark, but I could still make out four or five figures.

 

“Where’s the money Tamlin? Hybern asked for it weeks ago, and there will be consequences if it is not returned to him today.” A deep voice cut through the murky atmosphere.

“It’s coming, we swear, but we need another week to pay i--” Another voice, who I assumed was Tamlin replied, but he was cut off.

“The cargo needs to be payed for _ now. _ ”

_ Cargo? _

“Listen, Jurian. I don’t want to be involved with this business or the drugs anymore. If I had the money, I would pay.”

_ Was I supposed to call the police? _ Drugs? _ Surely whatever they were doing was illegal if they were meeting in this dingy alley. _

I decided to try to hide in the shop. Whatever they were doing, I didn’t want to get caught. But my damned foot was still resting on the rickety stairs as I turned, and the step wailed. Quicker than I could comprehend, one of the men raced up the stairs and grabbed my arm. I was too shocked to move, let alone try to fight his iron grip. The man, who I guessed must have been Jurian, dragged me down the stairs and towards the others.

“She’s heard too much. We can’t let her go.” Jurian said grimly. He reached into his pocket, and to my horror, retrieved a gun. My adrenaline finally kicked in and I started to struggle.

“No, please… please  _ don’t. _ ” I pleaded, looking around at the others. My eyes caught on a man with long, golden hair. He looked at me in my panic, and it must have sparked some pity.

“Don’t hurt her, please, she’s my girlfriend.” The man, Tamlin said. 

_ Girlfriend? What sort of excuse was that?  _ But I went with it, this man a last-ditch attempt at getting out of this situation with my life.

“I told you to stay in the shop until I came to pick you up.” He pretended to chastise me, still a total stranger. “I need to get her home. I’ll get the money for you as soon as I can.” And with that, Tamlin took me by the wrist and pulled me away, striding down the alleyway and a red haired man following us.

“The debts are piling up, Tamlin. If you can’t pay now, you won’t be able to get the money to pay later!” Jurian called after us.

We turned the corner and kept walking for what felt like minutes before Tamlin said a word to me.

“What did you think you were doing, huh? Do you realise how much trouble you’ve gotten yourself and me into?” Tamlin raged. I was scared of the tightening grip on my wrist, but I had to stand my ground.

“Well, if you weren’t doing drug deals behind my coffee shop, I wouldn’t be in this mess to start with!”   
“There will always be a target on your head, you understand that?” He sighed, and loosened his grip. “Look, I’m sorry for getting you in this mess, but I don’t see us getting out of it until I finish my… business. I’ll have to keep my eye on you, but I will make sure while you live with me, I’ll make your life as comfortable as possible.”

“ _ Live? _ ” I choked out, barely believing what he had said.

“We need to make it believable, otherwise they will hunt you down-- I don’t even know your name.”

“Feyre.” I said shortly. “But there is no chance I am coming with you. Thank you for saving me, but that’s going too far. Goodbye.”

I turned to leave, but Tamlin snarled and grabbed my arm. “How many times do I have to tell you? If I let you go with the information, you. Will. Die. I will try my best to get the situation sorted as quickly as possible, but I can’t let you talk to your friends in the meantime, in case you let something slip. We need to go.”

**********

I ripped myself out of my memories as I climbed into my car and pulled away into the road. The black van behind me also pulled out, but I didn’t think anything of it. 

I was on my way out of town and back to Tamlin’s house when I started to worry about the van. It must have been following me for at least 15 minutes. Also, it was right on my tail. Slowly, I picked up the speed, but so did the van. I dared to look in my rear-view mirror to see the person practically jamming their car into mine. It took a moment for me to focus, but I saw a figure. The same figure who had almost shot me in that alley a month ago. The figure who had been haunting my dreams for weeks.

_ I was almost at the house. I could see it coming into view. If I could get there, and run inside, perhaps I’d be safe. _

It was almost as if Jurian had been waiting to make eye contact with me, as he flashed a malicious grin. What was he planning to do to me? Was it going to be a warning for Tamlin, as he  _ still  _ hadn’t paid up? It seemed so. With that, Jurian sped up, and my car jolted as he rammed into the back.

I lost control of the steering wheel for a second, and I started to panic. Was he only trying to scare me, or was he actually trying to kill me? Another jolt a few seconds later had my car careening out of control, and swerving off the road. 

Then time seemed to slow. My view swirled as the car flipped. Shards of glass glittered like stars, and I threw my arms out to steady myself in this kaleidoscope. Faintly, I heard myself scream over the screech of the van’s tyres as Jurian drove away. Black smoke that soon appeared to blur my vision and hurt my throat…

**********

-Rhysand-

I was taking my evening run when I saw it happen.

On the other side of the road, I watched as a black van bashed into a small car, and drove it off the road. The car flipped over, and promptly started to catch fire. Without thinking, I sprinted across the road and towards the wreck. If I didn’t help whoever was inside, they would surely die. I coughed as the smoke entered my lungs, and I forced my eyes back open. The next few seconds were a blur as I pulled a woman through the broken window. I pulled her away from the wreckage, and soon realised that the now tangled blonde hair was horrifyingly familiar.

“ _ Feyre? _ ” I said in disbelief. I hadn’t seen her for weeks, and now I found her like this? Her eyes were closed, and she wasn’t responding. I put an ear against her chest.  _ Still alive, thank the Mother. _ I gently shook her, and she groaned. Her eyes opened and confusion clouded them for a moment.

“ _ Rhys? _ ” She wheezed.

“Feyre, can you hear me? You’re alright, it’s Rhys. You’re okay, you’re okay.” I said soothingly, stroking her hair.

Then, another car behind us screeched to a halt. If it was that bastard who had just done this, I would  _ kill  _ him. I looked over my shoulder, but saw a different car, and a man running towards us.

“Feyre! Is she okay? We live just up the road and I heard the crash.” The man said, his green eyes full of worry.

“She’s alive, but we should get her to the hospital to get her checked out. I’m her friend, so we should both go with her.” 

“Feyre doesn’t have friends.” The man replied, a bit too sharply for my liking. “I think I’ll go with her by myself; wouldn’t want to inconvenience you. Thank you for saving her, but I should get her to the hospital.”

He knocked me aside and picked up Feyre. I watched as the man walked away, and Feyre looked over his shoulder, our eyes meeting. It was as if she was trying to say a last goodbye with that look, before she got placed in the car and driven away from me, leaving me alone again.

**********

Cassian, Azriel and I all exited the pub, laughing and whooping. I had told them what had happened, and they had taken me for a drink to help cheer me up. While I laughed along with Cassian’s jokes and Az’s remarks, I couldn’t get rid of the overwhelming sense of misery that had clouded my mind. In the time I had known Feyre before, we had grown so close, and I had truly fallen in love with everything about her. She had fit in so well with everyone, and it really looked like she had grown to like me a bit too. Our flirtatious banter had made me think so, at least. That was until one day last month, when she never returned home, and didn’t call to tell us where she was. I texted, but she never replied. Mor told me a few days later she had seen Feyre holding hands with a blond man around town, and I started to give up hope. Perhaps she was just being polite, returning the banter, and didn’t want to hurt me face to face and say that she had met someone else. My feelings had dampened down over the last month, but today had brought them all back. They had only been intensified by the amount I had drank.

The three of us stumbled through the streets, each eventually taking our separate ways to head home, until I was left by myself under the starlight. I looked up, and was reminded of the way Feyre’s eyes lit up each time I told her a joke. But a cloud sailed past, and covered the stars, blinking out the moments of happiness, one by one.  _ Mother above,  _ I was always horribly poetic when I was drunk, I found especially when I had a broken heart.

Perhaps if I told Feyre how I felt about her still, it would help me get it off my chest, and help me forget. I stopped in the middle of a dark street, opened my phone after few attempts, and scrolled through my contacts. I still had her. 

_ You’re going to regret this.  _ The sober part of me told myself.  _ But I don’t have anything to lose. I probably won’t see her again.  _ I argued back.

Before I could think about it more, I pressed the call button.

Three rings, then-

“Hello?” Said a groggy voice.

“Feyre, it’s nice to hear from you. You’re alright from this afternoon, I presume?”

“Rhys? I’m fine, nothing I can’t handle. You sound drunk, are you okay? Look, Tamlin is in the other room, but I’ll still have to be quiet. I’m so sorry for not calling, I wanted to explain but--”

“I don’t need an excuse, Feyre. I understand now why you left, and I don’t want to be angry about it.”

“It’s 2 in the morning.”

“If I could get to sleep, I would have slept by now; and I need to tell you now, otherwise I probably never will.”

A beat of silence, then, “Okay.”

“I’m sorry Feyre, but I want to be done waiting for you. I don’t know if you ever planned on talking to any of us ever again, but I want you to know that I won’t be mad if you don’t. I just want to get over you. I might be drunk, but here goes. I was in love with you Feyre, and I think I still am. Maybe I’ll never stop loving you, but if we were meant to be, we would have been by now. When I first met you, I swear I felt my heart skip eight beats at once. You were so kind, and courageous. And we got so close, so quickly. I thought maybe, one day, you may feel the same way towards me as I feel towards you. But you don’t, and that’s okay. It was stupid of me to expect someone to fall in love with me just because I loved them. But still, over the past month, I couldn’t help but wonder whether I have ever been your fantasy. Because the connection I thought was between us felt so real. But it doesn’t matter now. I just want you to know, the fire you started in me still makes my heart burn.” I finished, all my breath leaving me.

“Rhys, I want you to know that I didn’t leave because I wanted to; I am protecting you all by staying away. But when I can come back, I will, if you still want me to. I have your number back now, and I want to explain when you’re sober. I will have to do it in secret, but when I have the chance, I promise I will, Rhys.” Feyre whispered.

By then I was too drunk on alcohol and my own stupidity, that I just said, “Okay. Have a nice evening, Feyre.” And promptly hung up.

I wandered the streets for a while longer in my stupor, when I eventually reached my house and collapsed onto my bed and fell asleep.

**********

I woke up in what must have been mid-afternoon, and rolled over. My phone poked into my ribs, so I removed it and opened it to check for any awful photos that might have been taken the night before. But the screen opened onto my call list, and the most recent call.  _ Cauldron damn me. _ The memories of the conversation I had with Feyre came back, and I cringed, not only at the awful confession I had made, but also my ignorance. _ ‘I’m protecting you all by staying away.’  _ She had said, and I had completely ignored it. Was she in danger? Why didn’t I ask? I buried my head in my pillow and groaned and my utter stupidity, when as if on cue, my phone rang. I looked back up.  _ ‘Feyre’.  _

“Feyre! Are you alright? I’m so sorry for last night; I was so stupid--”

“It’s okay, Rhys. Look, I don’t have much time. If Tamlin finds out I have your number… I don’t know how long I’ll have to stay here; he is getting further and further away from paying back the money…” Feyre whispered back.

“What money?”

And that was when she told me about the events of the day last month.

How someone had pulled a  _ gun _ on her.

As she carried on, I wondered how on earth she had survived pretending to be a stranger’s girlfriend for a month while pretending nothing was wrong. It was something I would dread to live through.

I wanted to help, but she insisted that something worse than yesterday would happen if she was allowed to go free.

“Feyre, I’m so, so sorry. I swear by the Cauldron, if there’s anything I can do to help. I will do everything I can to do it.”

“But Tamlin can’t kn-” The bang of a door sounded in the background.

“ _ What are you doing?” _ A familiar voice echoed down the line.

“Tamlin, please, no!” Feyre shouted before the line was cut short. 

And so I was left to wonder if I would ever see Feyre ever again.


End file.
